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How to Turn Into a Vampire

  1. Here are the steps to your metamorphosis. Welcome to Living Death.
  2. Be rid of all friends, all family. Everyone who has ever known you.
  3. Once you have been bit, apply anti-infection cream to wound. Wrap in gauze.
  4. You will bleed. This is normal as the scar tissue develops. Change gauze up to three times daily.
  5. ONE DAY POST-BITE: You will begin to feel feverish. Expect chills. You may leave your home during the day for supplies, however this is discouraged and you must be discrete.
  6. At this point, get rid of any ash or juniper wood you may have. You have now developed a sensitivity to these.
  7. TWO DAYS POST-BITE: You may no longer eat human food.
  8. Begin to seal off your dwelling from daylight. This must be completed by day four.
  9. Finger and toenails will begin to wither and die and fall off. This is normal. Once the transformation is completed, they will grow back fresh and new.
  10. THREE DAYS POST-BITE: Canine teeth will become loose. They should fall out by day four. Your other teeth will begin to harden, turning strong as steel.
  11. FOUR DAYS POST-BITE: Daylight will not kill you. This is a common misconception. However, daylight will turn you immobile, thus the need to seal off light.
  12. You now cannot enter another's dwelling without invitation.
  13. FIVE DAYS POST-BITE: Your bite wound should have healed by now, leaving only scar tissue.
  14. You will still feel sickly and weak but this is an illusion: your physical strength is increasing.
  15. The thirst begins. Hold off until your fangs have fully grown in on day 6.
  16. SIX DAYS POST-BITE: Your reflection will start to waver and be completely gone upon the completion of step 17.
  17. Finally, YOU MUST FEED. CHOOSE A VICTIM CAREFULLY. THE FIRST TIME IS THE HARDEST.